Some heartfelt words - 20 Dec 2005 - 1 year into new office

This time last year, I can never forget those magical moments.

*Blog interrupted, she's hanging clothes now.... how virtuous.... ah.... :)*

It was the annual function by my company same time last year. As i was about to drive pass her office, i rang her up to see me at the corridor... she came out... i saw her.... the feeling was so, unbearable, and yet happy. Unbearable because i can't tell her the feelings i have for her. Longing and pinning for her every moment of the day.... And happy because just seeing her for that split of a second lifts me up so so so much.

That bittersweet feeling was one which i will never ever forget... for she is the only person in my life that has made me feel this way.... butterflies in the stomach.... utter silly nonsensical stuff.... and sometimes trying to act 'garang' in front of her..... hahaa....

You can never imagine how excited i was to bump into her or see her. Whether intentionally or unintentionally. Be it driving on the road, walking along the corridor, or on the way to the loo.... deep down in my heart i often pray to 'bump' into her. Very often my prayers were answered, i wondered if i were a psychic. Or is it simply just immersed telepathy between 2 people? Whose attractions towards each other are so strong like attracting poles of a magnet?

In them morning, I would bump into her on the roads ever so often. I mean, what are the chances? One in how many thousands? We live at different parts of the islands, and although we share a common route nearing our work place, but it's very often such a coincidence... I would bump into her at traffic lights, or along the expressway. This, was one of the first few things that brought my attention to her.

And on the way to the loo from my office, i would often look towards her office and hope to catch a glimpse of her stepping out onto the corridor also. I dare say it's merely playfulness that led me to yearn for her presence all the time. Cos she's the only person i can joke madly and clown around with. My partner in play. And then something else creeps in quietly..... without our acknowledgement.... The yearn for a play mate has developed into something more... haiz.... It's such a beautiful movie in my mind....

None other than you, the beautiful lady who is now my dear.... Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder... u know... i still get the jitters in my knees when u looked at me in a certain way.... the same jitters i had, when i was unable to confirm the feelings i had for u... the fear to admit to myself that it is love... the weak feelings in the knees... the lump in the throat.

So glad..... so glad..... so glad everything turns out the way it is now.... yes there were ups and of course downs.... but i'm glad for all of these.... and for many learning process to come... be it good or bad... i just want to experience it with no one but you......

Rem i told you that I dun want to be ur emotional burden, and that if there is a better someone out there for u.... u can just go... and u do not owe me any explanations.. Rem? When i casually mention to Pat about it, he commented, that i must be acting noble, just an act of graciousness... well....